If you could only see me you probably wouldn't be able to stop laughing. I'm sitting here typing in a halter topped, glittery dress with my washed yesterday hair in a messy knot on the top of my head and my as of yet unwashed face showing the remnants of make-up from yesterday that my quick wash last night didn't get rid of. Why, you might ask, am I sitting here looking like Carrie after the prom minus the blood? There is a good explanation. It's kind of a hum glum day in Michigan. We're lacking sunshine and the weather peeps said it was supposed to rain on and off all day (although they haven't delivered on that yet) so I figured it would be a good day to work in the closet again. I was in there in May and got 3 full garbage bags of clothes out and it just felt like time to do it again. Many of my summer clothes were too big the last half of the season so they had to go and I left some winter stuff last spring that I wasn't sure if it would fit or not. Well, most of the questionable stuff doesn't fit which doesn't surprise me. A lot can happen in just over 30 pounds which is what I lost this summer. My problem is not that my clothes don't fit but that I'm finding it hard to get rid of a lot of the stuff that's still in my closet. Enter the pretty sparkly dress that I'm wearing right now.
Don't get me wrong. I love, love, love the fact that I'm losing weight and becoming healthier but it's so sad getting rid of some of my favorite older, too large pieces of clothing. I can justify keeping old sweatshirts and flannel pants around, at least for now, because who cares if my lounging in the cold clothes are too big. Isn't that what makes them so comfy? What I can't justify is keeping items like this dress and other fancier garb in my closet. It's nice that I've been able to give a lot of my old clothes to Diane (Tasha's mom/Bob's lady friend) and I've held onto a few exceptionally nice items for Karla, should she ever get down to my former sizes, so a lot of it is at least staying in the family but it's still hard to say good-bye.
I think my attachment to this dress is that my mom loved it. I've found over the last 14 months that I have a harder time getting rid of things that remind me of her. Hell I broke a pair of scissors that she got me and I didn't throw them for almost two weeks. I finally got tired of the handle breaking off every time I tried to cut something so I threw them out but I still felt guilty about it.I know that's silly but there it is.
I think the bottom line is, if I'm being honest, that I'm just getting more sentimental and mushy as I get older. I suddenly understand how people become hoarders. Not that I'll ever let it get that bad but I get the mentality behind it. Oh well, I guess I'm taking a step in the right direction by cleaning out my closet now. I certainly don't want to be one of those ladies who keeps a closet full of clothes that don't fit. With my tendency to cling it's probably only a short leap to keeping gum wrapers, paper clips, old phone books and stuffed cats.
OK, I should get back to work so I can get the rest of my house work done today.
I can really relate to this blog. Not because I lost a lot of weight and have to purge my closet, but because I have a really hard time getting rid of clothes and I'm a very sentimental person. I have about two or three tubs full of clothes that I cannot allow myself to get rid of. Most of the clothes are too small, but I hope to wear them again some day. Other types of clothing that I can't part with are sentimental - high school stuff mostly (volleyball apparel).
ReplyDeleteAs I was moving this past weekend, my dad kept asking what was in this or that tub. Every time I answered him, I said, "Clothes." I think he got the picture. I'm pretty good about down-sizing every once in awhile; however, I tend to hold onto stuff longer than I need to. I don't think I'll get to be a hoarder, but I do keep the things that mean the most to me. So, don't be embarrassed. You're not alone. :-)