Back in the saddle...

No pun intended.

I'm sure you've noticed I have not been faithful to the blog lately. If it makes you feel any better, I haven't exactly been faithful to any part of my weight-loss/health-gain plan in the last few months. Yes, I said it, months. In fact, I just weighed myself in what seems like FOREVER and I gained 25 pounds back from my lightest. It was worse than I thought it would be, but I won't let that stupid number on the scale discourage me and keep me from moving forward again. In fact, it's a bit liberating to finally log the number. I kept thinking this summer, 'once I get back to my light weight then I'll log.' Let me tell you, it doesn't work that way.

I had a really nice talk with Jessica last night and I was telling her that I finally realized what's going on. My backsliding isn't a physical thing. My body wants to move and be good. It's all in my head. I've been trying to figure out where my head is and why it's in such a bad place right now and I honestly think I have a few things to resolve from this summer. I am ashamed to admit it, but I have so much anger towards Dean for what he did this summer. The anger got worse as Alecia's pregnancy was progressing and now that Gracilyn is here, I'm really pissed. I know he was going through something awful and I can't begin to understand the feelings he was trying to work through but I still can't validate the decision that he made. I look at pictures of that little girl, who looks just like Dean, and I get fuming mad thinking that she might not get to know her daddy. Yes, we'll tell her all about him, but it's not the same thing. I get heart sick every time I  hear one of Cody and Tasha's kids tell me how much they miss uncle Dean. When Brooklyn was here with Karla and Justin last month, she kept tell me that Dean got sick and had to leave. How do you help a 2 year old process the loss of someone she loves so much? Especially when he mad the decision to go. I know this all probably makes me sound really cold and selfish but these are the thoughts that are rolling around in my head and I have to deal with them before they consume me. I love Dean with all of my heart, please don't doubt that, and I'm working through this anger that I have. I've been talking with family about it and writing down here seems to be pretty cathartic. I think that working through these feelings and moving forward will be a really good thing, not just for me but for others in my family as well.

Anyway, moving on, I have decided to start NO NONSENSE NOVEMBER! There has been a lot of nonsense these past months and I need to end it now. I have a 5K that I'm running with Rishy on Thanksgiving morning. It's going to be bad and she's going to kick my butt because I haven't been training like I should, or at all. I honestly don't know if I can even run a 5K on the treadmill right now (guess I'll find out tomorrow monring). However, humiliating myself in front of my best friend on turkey day should be really good motivation to get my butt in gear. I've also decided that when my spin class through AA Rec/Ed is up (I only have two classes left), I'm going to purchase a package through the studio and keep going. It's less expensive per class and I'm not locked into going on Friday nights only. It will cost $130 for 20 classes that have to be used within 90 days. I figure I'll purchase the package when I get back from Iowa in early December. If I go twice per week, it should get me through the first part of the winter nicely. When the time comes, I'll decide if I want to purchase another package or maybe try something else.

Finally, I have to stop eating like a hog. I would explain but I think the words I just used describe the situation pretty clearly. It's bad and I need to stop. NOW.

Anywho, I'm going to try to be more active on the blog. I don't make any promises for this month though. I only have two weeks and then I'm gone and things could get really crazy at work (for reasons I can't currently mention in a public forum) but I will try my hardest to check in more regularly.

Now, I have lots of reading to catch up on so I can figure out what has been going on in your lives since last month. Have a great day all!

Autumn update

Happy October ladies!  I am so happy to be enjoying this beautiful fall. The weather has been a bit brisk but I'm really OK with that. I love the cool temps and all of the amazing fall foliage that we've been having. When we moved into the new hospital we had high expectations in regard to the view from our eleventh story windows. I don't think even our greatest expectations could have come close to the beautiful autumn scenery that we have available to us. It's gorgeous from the ground but it's simply breathtaking from this height. It doesn't hurt that the trees go on for what seems like miles and miles!  The best part is that it changes so much from day to day. Can you tell I'm just a bit enthralled by our view??

Besides enjoying the autumnal flora, I have been keeping busy with many random things. I am working on a blanket for my soon-to-be-born neice. It is very close to being finished and I couldn't be happier. I'm so bad at these things. I'm always really motivated when I start and then my desire to crochet diminishes and I'm left with half projects. Fortunately with baby blankets there is a fairly solid deadline so I can keep on task. I pieced all of my granny squares together last night. Now I just have to do is finish the border and I'll be done. This is the first time I've done a granny square blanket. I don't know if I used the correct method for assembly but it's stuck together and I think it will stand up to multiple washings. I'll take a picture and post it when everything is finished.

I'm currently working on two books. I've been hoping to read the first book in the Game of Thrones series for some time but there are always a billion requests on the 20 copies that my library has. However, my friend Julie's lovely husband Mike heard about my predicament and managed to get his hands on a copy from his library. I'm about one third of the way through and I'm really enjoying it. It's a somewhat slow read and I feel like I already know what's going on because I Netflixed the first season last spring. I'm actually surprised how closely the first season of the show mirrors the book. There are usually many changes that take place but so far I feel like the first book was very truly adapted. Granted, there is still two thirds of the book left so there is plenty of time for them to trow in some really oddball stuff that I'm not expecting.

I am also listening to a book on my commute each morning and evening. Please feel free to judge me when I tell you the title. I've never claimed to have the greatest taste in the world. I have 5 words for you: Pride and Prejudice and Zombies. Yes, you read that correctly, your eyes are not deceiving you. I would describe the book to you, however, the name pretty much sums it up nicely. Take the classic love story of Elizabeth Bennett and Mr. Darcy and throw in a bunch of brain munching zombies. It's just about as ridiculous as you would imagine and I LOVE IT!! I only have 1 disc left and I'm surprised how good it is. Yes, the thought of zombies running around Austen's England is incredibly silly but I think she would have appreciated it. She wa a bit of a rebel herself, you know.

Last but not least, I've started my spinning class and although it's hard work it is great fun. I've had two classes so far and I'm really enjoying it. Don't get me wrong, it's not easy at all and my legs are like jello-o when I'm done but I enjoy the workout so much I don't realize how much it sucks until after. Oh, and the sweat, have I mentioned the sweat?  I sweat like a hog while spinning which wouldn't be so bad but then I have to take a bus back to my car. I'm choosing to believe that people don't want to sit next to me because I'm a stranger, not because I smell like a gym sock. Anyway, I have six weeks left and my only real goal is to be able to get out of and back into the saddle without hurting myself or the bike by the end of class. I have confidence that this can happen!

Recipe: turkey white bean pumpkin chili

It's soup season again and this is the first new soup I've tried. I already have others but I've been a blogging slacker so you'll have to have patience.

I know this might sound like a strange soup but it's really quite tasty. Don't let the pumpkin scare you off. There is so much other flavor going on that there isn't an overly pumpkiny taste.  You'll just have to trust me on this one!

You will need:

• 2 lb lean ground turkey
• 1/2 tsp olive oil
• 1 small onion, chopped
• 3 garlic cloves, minced
• 1 tsp chili powder, to taste
• 2 bay leaves
• 2 tsp cumin
• 1 tsp oregano
• 2 (15 oz cans) of white northern or navy beans, rinsed and drained
• 15 oz can pumpkin puree (not pumpkin pie filling)
• 4.5 oz canned chopped green chile
• 2 cups low sodium, fat free chicken broth
• fat free sour cream for topping (optional)
• chopped cilantro and chives for topping (optional)
• salt and pepper to taste

 Cook the ground turkey, onion and garlic in a heavy sautee pan until turkey is brown and broken up. Add to the crock pot. Add the remainder of the ingredients (save the toppings) into the crock pot. Cook on low for 8 hours or on high for 4 hours. Top with sour cream and chives/cilantro if desired.

Tis the season...

to get crafty! As the weather turns cool, I get an itch to start working with my hands.  Yarn work isn't very much fun when the weather is hot because yarn is very warm and who wants a blanket or throw on their lap when it's 90+ degrees outside and the air is on. However, the crisp weather we've been experiencing lately is getting me in the mood to start some new projects.  I'm currently working on a baby blanket for my new niece who will be joining us in the very near future and while I need to get my butt in gear on that or it will never be finished, I decided to pick up a side project I saw on Pinterest.  My dear friend Lindsey posted a hat a while ago that she was contemplating buying for $45. It was just a crochet hat with a felt flower on it.  I thought I might be able to whip something up that was similar for a lot less money.  Boy was I right.

After about 2-3 hours of work and a whopping $7.00 (maximum) I think I came up with a hat with a very similar feel. The crochet of the hat is a bit different and the colors are not the same but I think it worked well in the end...

The original by MojoSpaStyle:

The replicate by me:

 

Migraine Mayhem!

I would like to start by saying that the fact that my primary care clinic has Saturday appointments ROCKS!  It is so much more convenient than having to schedule time off of work to go see my doctor. Way to go Ypsilanti Family Medicine!

As you might have guess by my oh so subtle title, I had a bit of migraine mayhem this week, at least I really hope it is migraine mayhem and not some other nasty lurking in the shadows. I was having a very nice, normal week.  I was eating well, getting my runs in, getting plenty of rest and with the exception of yesterday I wasn't dealing with much stress beyond the usual stress of being alive and a working adult. However, I had a very strange episode, for lack of a better word, on Thursday.

I was sitting all by myself in the EKG lab when the entire right side of my body went completely numb. I'm talking from the top on my head to the very tips of my toes.  Even my throat was numb.  I was hesitant to stand up because I wasn't sure if I was going to be dizzy or not.  After a brief moment of head spinning I was able to walk up to the clinic. I had full control of my body, I just couldn't feel anything other than an incredibly strong tingle. I felt my pulse and it was strong, steady and regular and our MA told me that she didn't see any drooping in my face. It took about 5 minutes and the tingling stopped and the numbness subsided. I felt fine other than a low grade headache, a bit of shakiness and some mild visual distortions (which I get when I have my migraines).

I honestly wasn't terribly concerned about the event and chalked it up to increasing neurological symptoms of my headaches. However, when I told my sister what happened she flipped out on me. She called me an idiot and told me that if I died in my sleep because I had a stroke or aneurysm she would never forgive me.  I wasn't quite ready to jump to all of the wrong conclusions yet so I called Tasha for a second opinion. I figured she loves me and she's a nurse so I can get a family member/medical professional opinion. While she didn't feel strongly that I should have gone to  the ED (did you know it's not the ER anymore??) she did advise me to make an appointment with my PCP.

I had my appointment this morning and the conclusion was what I thought it would be.  Because I have good blood pressure, I don't and have never smoked or used smokeless tobacco, exercise regularly and try to eat well, the odds that I had a stroke or even a transient ischemic attack, are very low. Yes, I have a strong family history in my mom but as Dr. Velez said, 'your mom is another beast,' meaning the fact that she smoked and had a severe vascular disease as a direct result of that habit doesn't really increase my risk of stroke. She didn't recommend imaging at this time but she said she'd leave it to me if I want a neurology consult.  I think for now I'll probably leave it; if the symptoms return or get worse I'll get in to see a specialist.

Damn you stomach bug!!

Happy weekend ladies.  I have to admit that as glad as I am for the weekend, I am even more excited to have finally kicked whatever stomach bug was wreaking havoc on my system all week. I was able to eat breakfast and lunch today with only minimal stomach discomfort...yay!! I'm still eating with a bit of trepidation just to be on the safe side but all seems to settling well. I have had to re-think my menu for the week as I was planning on working my way through the plethora of leftovers I have in my freezer, however, apparently everything I cook is spicy and I don't know how well spicy will sit (at least for the next few days). Oh well, I was able to come up with a few fairly mild and inexpensive replacement dishes.  I can always eat leftovers the next week.

Sadly, due to my illness, I only got one good workout in this week.  I ran on Monday, took Tuesday off because of an early morning meeting and then planned to run the rest of the week. That did not happen.  I figured excruciating stomach pain and a diet of ginger ale and saltines didn't lend itself well to hearty workouts. Even though I haven't been getting my runs in I have decided that this week won't be a total loss. I'm going to go for a nice walk this afternoon to the mailbox which is about three miles. I also hope that after eating some real food today that my legs won't be too angry if I try a nice run tomorrow. I figure at least get out for some intervals. Tomorrow is supposed to be as beautiful as today so I think I might spend a chunk of the day wandering around Gallop Park exploring the trails.

I don't really have much else to share.  I honestly spend the majority of my week lying on the couch dying, at least when I wasn't at work.  I did get a lot of sleep which was pretty amazing, I won't lie.  Sleeping from 8:30-5:30 is a pretty amazing thing.  Who knew nine hours of sleep could be so refreshing?!?
 

Speed intervals and spinning class

Pretty much all summer I've been thinking that I really need to add more variety to my workouts. I really enjoy running.  I'll be honest, I don't always enjoy the early mornings and sometimes I really feel like I want to die while I'm running but I have this sense of accomplishment when I complete a run.  Even if it's not my best it's still leagues beyond what I was capable of when I first started this mission. I just think that I'm at a point where I really need to make a change to start seeing progress. I've been stagnating for far too long and I know it's because I haven't really made any changes recently.

I have no intentions of giving up running, or even making another activity my cardio go-to.  I do, however, know that I have to make changes to the way I approach running. It's no longer good enough to just jog 2-3 miles and call it good.  If that's my plan, then I might as well plan on staying where I'm at physically. As such, I have decided to really work at increasing my speed and my endurance. I tend to fall to a 5 mph pace when I do my longer runs.  I'm working hard but I can still maintain it for a 5k.  However, it's not really a challenge.  There are certainly moments when it's not easy but I never feel like I really have to dig deep to keep going.  My latest run consisted of intervals, walking alternating with running.  My running intervals were anywhere from 5mph to 7 mph.  Let me tell you, I had to dig deep to keep running 7 mph for 1:40 minutes.  I know it might not seem like much but that's a pretty fast pace for a girl like me. I'm not exactly built for 8.5 minute miles. It's funny how slow and easy a 12 minute mile feels after that :-)

I've also signed up for a spinning class this fall.  Every quarter the Ann Arbor RecEd catalog comes out.  I always look at the classes and think if only I weren't such a chicken I'd sign up for something.  Well, this fall I decided to not be a chicken and signed up for a spinning class. It's 8 weeks and meets on Friday nights from 5:45-6:30.  It ends the week before I head home for my November trip so I shouldn't have to miss any classes.  I realize that there is a really good chance that I'll get to this class and get my ass handed to me on a platter. I might end up just pedaling while everybody else is doing the real spinning stuff but I'm going to get as much out of it as I can. I'm hoping that adding some variety will not only jump start my body to get headed in the right direction, I also hope that it will give me a renewed motivation to keep making the changes I need and want to make.