Back and ready to kick ass!!

I can't believe it's December, mostly because it means that my vacation has come and gone and now I'm trapped in Michigan until July. However, I have so many fond memories to keep me company that I'm sure the next eight months will just fly by...

My plans didn't work out exactly the way I was expecting but there isn't much that I would change about my most recent trip home with one major exception, I needed to spend more time with my friends to detox from my family. Don't get me wrong, I love everybody in my family to bits and pieces but by the end of the second week I could have used some friend time a day sooner and probably a few of Kevin's magic margaritas! Can I just say how much fun I had my last night home? Honestly, we didn't do anything too spectacular, well with the exception of a bit of hip waggling, but it was a perfect night nonetheless. It was the same the night I spent hanging out with Jenny in Ankeny. I sometimes forget out here, where I truly prefer to be a bit of  a hermit, how much fun it can be to just hang out with the people you love. God I miss that.  I don't think it's ever been more difficult for me to get in my car and drive away from home than it was this time. That includes leaving after my mom's funeral...I think that means something. I really need to move home. I even told my boss today. I don't think he believed me. I hope to shock him one of these days ;-)

Just a brief recap:

Opened in Iowa with Cody and his family. He's finally cleared to drive with his knee and Tasha got a job...PARTY!

Turkey Trot with Rishy (AND BEN!!, color me surprised) which just increased my love for my friends and proved to me that being a lazy lump does not pay off. Fixing the situation pronto!

Thanksgiving with Rishy and her family. Not planned but awesome just the same.

Back to Iowa to see the Stefanovic clan and spend some quality time with my family.

Two thanksgiving dinners, one trip to the salon to chop my locks, one girls day out with Karla and Kim, lunch with my favorite per-kindergartener EVER (school lunches have not changed much), my first solo dinner with my little brother Brad (need to do this more often), a fabulous day with my Jenny who I NEVER get to see, a day spent with Cody, date night with two of my favorite little men (Wreck-It Ralph is really cute btw) and one fabulous evening playing with some of my favorite people in the world (even though Kevin kept cutting off the circulation in my fingers, we watched too many bad SyFy movies, Ben downloaded the bouncing boobs ap and Kevin, Ben and I invested way too much time trying to find tasteful sideboob which I'm still not convinced really exists despite what the boys claim).

Whew... and that's just the Reader's Digest version. I could gush on and on but I won't. I'd also post pictures but it's so hard with my new phone so if you want to cyber spy, just check out Facebook.

I got back to Michigan late, late Sunday night and took Monday off of work. It's been really hard to get back into a sleep schedule, my brain is still on vacation, and I'm so tired in the morning. I think my families plague finally hit me so I don't think it's helping me in the feeling rested category. If I'm asleep before midnight tonight (the last two nights have been very late) I plan to get up and run tomorrow morning. I'm also happy to say that I decided to purchase a package at the studio where I've been doing my spin class. Twenty classes for $130 seems really reasonable to me. I think I'm going to be spinning on Monday and Friday nights this winter. I'm really hoping to work on my cardio over this winter, it needs all of the help it can get. Assuming the Mayans are wrong, I have some very specific fitness goals in the next year that I will be meeting, including running the 10K (without feeling like I'm dying) at the Dexter-Ann Arbor run and my half marathon with Rishy in the fall. I won't accomplish any of that sitting on my ass. Also, if I don't look amazing at Andy's wedding when I'm back in July, I just might cry!

Back in the saddle...

No pun intended.

I'm sure you've noticed I have not been faithful to the blog lately. If it makes you feel any better, I haven't exactly been faithful to any part of my weight-loss/health-gain plan in the last few months. Yes, I said it, months. In fact, I just weighed myself in what seems like FOREVER and I gained 25 pounds back from my lightest. It was worse than I thought it would be, but I won't let that stupid number on the scale discourage me and keep me from moving forward again. In fact, it's a bit liberating to finally log the number. I kept thinking this summer, 'once I get back to my light weight then I'll log.' Let me tell you, it doesn't work that way.

I had a really nice talk with Jessica last night and I was telling her that I finally realized what's going on. My backsliding isn't a physical thing. My body wants to move and be good. It's all in my head. I've been trying to figure out where my head is and why it's in such a bad place right now and I honestly think I have a few things to resolve from this summer. I am ashamed to admit it, but I have so much anger towards Dean for what he did this summer. The anger got worse as Alecia's pregnancy was progressing and now that Gracilyn is here, I'm really pissed. I know he was going through something awful and I can't begin to understand the feelings he was trying to work through but I still can't validate the decision that he made. I look at pictures of that little girl, who looks just like Dean, and I get fuming mad thinking that she might not get to know her daddy. Yes, we'll tell her all about him, but it's not the same thing. I get heart sick every time I  hear one of Cody and Tasha's kids tell me how much they miss uncle Dean. When Brooklyn was here with Karla and Justin last month, she kept tell me that Dean got sick and had to leave. How do you help a 2 year old process the loss of someone she loves so much? Especially when he mad the decision to go. I know this all probably makes me sound really cold and selfish but these are the thoughts that are rolling around in my head and I have to deal with them before they consume me. I love Dean with all of my heart, please don't doubt that, and I'm working through this anger that I have. I've been talking with family about it and writing down here seems to be pretty cathartic. I think that working through these feelings and moving forward will be a really good thing, not just for me but for others in my family as well.

Anyway, moving on, I have decided to start NO NONSENSE NOVEMBER! There has been a lot of nonsense these past months and I need to end it now. I have a 5K that I'm running with Rishy on Thanksgiving morning. It's going to be bad and she's going to kick my butt because I haven't been training like I should, or at all. I honestly don't know if I can even run a 5K on the treadmill right now (guess I'll find out tomorrow monring). However, humiliating myself in front of my best friend on turkey day should be really good motivation to get my butt in gear. I've also decided that when my spin class through AA Rec/Ed is up (I only have two classes left), I'm going to purchase a package through the studio and keep going. It's less expensive per class and I'm not locked into going on Friday nights only. It will cost $130 for 20 classes that have to be used within 90 days. I figure I'll purchase the package when I get back from Iowa in early December. If I go twice per week, it should get me through the first part of the winter nicely. When the time comes, I'll decide if I want to purchase another package or maybe try something else.

Finally, I have to stop eating like a hog. I would explain but I think the words I just used describe the situation pretty clearly. It's bad and I need to stop. NOW.

Anywho, I'm going to try to be more active on the blog. I don't make any promises for this month though. I only have two weeks and then I'm gone and things could get really crazy at work (for reasons I can't currently mention in a public forum) but I will try my hardest to check in more regularly.

Now, I have lots of reading to catch up on so I can figure out what has been going on in your lives since last month. Have a great day all!

Autumn update

Happy October ladies!  I am so happy to be enjoying this beautiful fall. The weather has been a bit brisk but I'm really OK with that. I love the cool temps and all of the amazing fall foliage that we've been having. When we moved into the new hospital we had high expectations in regard to the view from our eleventh story windows. I don't think even our greatest expectations could have come close to the beautiful autumn scenery that we have available to us. It's gorgeous from the ground but it's simply breathtaking from this height. It doesn't hurt that the trees go on for what seems like miles and miles!  The best part is that it changes so much from day to day. Can you tell I'm just a bit enthralled by our view??

Besides enjoying the autumnal flora, I have been keeping busy with many random things. I am working on a blanket for my soon-to-be-born neice. It is very close to being finished and I couldn't be happier. I'm so bad at these things. I'm always really motivated when I start and then my desire to crochet diminishes and I'm left with half projects. Fortunately with baby blankets there is a fairly solid deadline so I can keep on task. I pieced all of my granny squares together last night. Now I just have to do is finish the border and I'll be done. This is the first time I've done a granny square blanket. I don't know if I used the correct method for assembly but it's stuck together and I think it will stand up to multiple washings. I'll take a picture and post it when everything is finished.

I'm currently working on two books. I've been hoping to read the first book in the Game of Thrones series for some time but there are always a billion requests on the 20 copies that my library has. However, my friend Julie's lovely husband Mike heard about my predicament and managed to get his hands on a copy from his library. I'm about one third of the way through and I'm really enjoying it. It's a somewhat slow read and I feel like I already know what's going on because I Netflixed the first season last spring. I'm actually surprised how closely the first season of the show mirrors the book. There are usually many changes that take place but so far I feel like the first book was very truly adapted. Granted, there is still two thirds of the book left so there is plenty of time for them to trow in some really oddball stuff that I'm not expecting.

I am also listening to a book on my commute each morning and evening. Please feel free to judge me when I tell you the title. I've never claimed to have the greatest taste in the world. I have 5 words for you: Pride and Prejudice and Zombies. Yes, you read that correctly, your eyes are not deceiving you. I would describe the book to you, however, the name pretty much sums it up nicely. Take the classic love story of Elizabeth Bennett and Mr. Darcy and throw in a bunch of brain munching zombies. It's just about as ridiculous as you would imagine and I LOVE IT!! I only have 1 disc left and I'm surprised how good it is. Yes, the thought of zombies running around Austen's England is incredibly silly but I think she would have appreciated it. She wa a bit of a rebel herself, you know.

Last but not least, I've started my spinning class and although it's hard work it is great fun. I've had two classes so far and I'm really enjoying it. Don't get me wrong, it's not easy at all and my legs are like jello-o when I'm done but I enjoy the workout so much I don't realize how much it sucks until after. Oh, and the sweat, have I mentioned the sweat?  I sweat like a hog while spinning which wouldn't be so bad but then I have to take a bus back to my car. I'm choosing to believe that people don't want to sit next to me because I'm a stranger, not because I smell like a gym sock. Anyway, I have six weeks left and my only real goal is to be able to get out of and back into the saddle without hurting myself or the bike by the end of class. I have confidence that this can happen!

Recipe: turkey white bean pumpkin chili

It's soup season again and this is the first new soup I've tried. I already have others but I've been a blogging slacker so you'll have to have patience.

I know this might sound like a strange soup but it's really quite tasty. Don't let the pumpkin scare you off. There is so much other flavor going on that there isn't an overly pumpkiny taste.  You'll just have to trust me on this one!

You will need:

• 2 lb lean ground turkey
• 1/2 tsp olive oil
• 1 small onion, chopped
• 3 garlic cloves, minced
• 1 tsp chili powder, to taste
• 2 bay leaves
• 2 tsp cumin
• 1 tsp oregano
• 2 (15 oz cans) of white northern or navy beans, rinsed and drained
• 15 oz can pumpkin puree (not pumpkin pie filling)
• 4.5 oz canned chopped green chile
• 2 cups low sodium, fat free chicken broth
• fat free sour cream for topping (optional)
• chopped cilantro and chives for topping (optional)
• salt and pepper to taste

 Cook the ground turkey, onion and garlic in a heavy sautee pan until turkey is brown and broken up. Add to the crock pot. Add the remainder of the ingredients (save the toppings) into the crock pot. Cook on low for 8 hours or on high for 4 hours. Top with sour cream and chives/cilantro if desired.

Tis the season...

to get crafty! As the weather turns cool, I get an itch to start working with my hands.  Yarn work isn't very much fun when the weather is hot because yarn is very warm and who wants a blanket or throw on their lap when it's 90+ degrees outside and the air is on. However, the crisp weather we've been experiencing lately is getting me in the mood to start some new projects.  I'm currently working on a baby blanket for my new niece who will be joining us in the very near future and while I need to get my butt in gear on that or it will never be finished, I decided to pick up a side project I saw on Pinterest.  My dear friend Lindsey posted a hat a while ago that she was contemplating buying for $45. It was just a crochet hat with a felt flower on it.  I thought I might be able to whip something up that was similar for a lot less money.  Boy was I right.

After about 2-3 hours of work and a whopping $7.00 (maximum) I think I came up with a hat with a very similar feel. The crochet of the hat is a bit different and the colors are not the same but I think it worked well in the end...

The original by MojoSpaStyle:

The replicate by me:

 

Migraine Mayhem!

I would like to start by saying that the fact that my primary care clinic has Saturday appointments ROCKS!  It is so much more convenient than having to schedule time off of work to go see my doctor. Way to go Ypsilanti Family Medicine!

As you might have guess by my oh so subtle title, I had a bit of migraine mayhem this week, at least I really hope it is migraine mayhem and not some other nasty lurking in the shadows. I was having a very nice, normal week.  I was eating well, getting my runs in, getting plenty of rest and with the exception of yesterday I wasn't dealing with much stress beyond the usual stress of being alive and a working adult. However, I had a very strange episode, for lack of a better word, on Thursday.

I was sitting all by myself in the EKG lab when the entire right side of my body went completely numb. I'm talking from the top on my head to the very tips of my toes.  Even my throat was numb.  I was hesitant to stand up because I wasn't sure if I was going to be dizzy or not.  After a brief moment of head spinning I was able to walk up to the clinic. I had full control of my body, I just couldn't feel anything other than an incredibly strong tingle. I felt my pulse and it was strong, steady and regular and our MA told me that she didn't see any drooping in my face. It took about 5 minutes and the tingling stopped and the numbness subsided. I felt fine other than a low grade headache, a bit of shakiness and some mild visual distortions (which I get when I have my migraines).

I honestly wasn't terribly concerned about the event and chalked it up to increasing neurological symptoms of my headaches. However, when I told my sister what happened she flipped out on me. She called me an idiot and told me that if I died in my sleep because I had a stroke or aneurysm she would never forgive me.  I wasn't quite ready to jump to all of the wrong conclusions yet so I called Tasha for a second opinion. I figured she loves me and she's a nurse so I can get a family member/medical professional opinion. While she didn't feel strongly that I should have gone to  the ED (did you know it's not the ER anymore??) she did advise me to make an appointment with my PCP.

I had my appointment this morning and the conclusion was what I thought it would be.  Because I have good blood pressure, I don't and have never smoked or used smokeless tobacco, exercise regularly and try to eat well, the odds that I had a stroke or even a transient ischemic attack, are very low. Yes, I have a strong family history in my mom but as Dr. Velez said, 'your mom is another beast,' meaning the fact that she smoked and had a severe vascular disease as a direct result of that habit doesn't really increase my risk of stroke. She didn't recommend imaging at this time but she said she'd leave it to me if I want a neurology consult.  I think for now I'll probably leave it; if the symptoms return or get worse I'll get in to see a specialist.

Damn you stomach bug!!

Happy weekend ladies.  I have to admit that as glad as I am for the weekend, I am even more excited to have finally kicked whatever stomach bug was wreaking havoc on my system all week. I was able to eat breakfast and lunch today with only minimal stomach discomfort...yay!! I'm still eating with a bit of trepidation just to be on the safe side but all seems to settling well. I have had to re-think my menu for the week as I was planning on working my way through the plethora of leftovers I have in my freezer, however, apparently everything I cook is spicy and I don't know how well spicy will sit (at least for the next few days). Oh well, I was able to come up with a few fairly mild and inexpensive replacement dishes.  I can always eat leftovers the next week.

Sadly, due to my illness, I only got one good workout in this week.  I ran on Monday, took Tuesday off because of an early morning meeting and then planned to run the rest of the week. That did not happen.  I figured excruciating stomach pain and a diet of ginger ale and saltines didn't lend itself well to hearty workouts. Even though I haven't been getting my runs in I have decided that this week won't be a total loss. I'm going to go for a nice walk this afternoon to the mailbox which is about three miles. I also hope that after eating some real food today that my legs won't be too angry if I try a nice run tomorrow. I figure at least get out for some intervals. Tomorrow is supposed to be as beautiful as today so I think I might spend a chunk of the day wandering around Gallop Park exploring the trails.

I don't really have much else to share.  I honestly spend the majority of my week lying on the couch dying, at least when I wasn't at work.  I did get a lot of sleep which was pretty amazing, I won't lie.  Sleeping from 8:30-5:30 is a pretty amazing thing.  Who knew nine hours of sleep could be so refreshing?!?
 

Speed intervals and spinning class

Pretty much all summer I've been thinking that I really need to add more variety to my workouts. I really enjoy running.  I'll be honest, I don't always enjoy the early mornings and sometimes I really feel like I want to die while I'm running but I have this sense of accomplishment when I complete a run.  Even if it's not my best it's still leagues beyond what I was capable of when I first started this mission. I just think that I'm at a point where I really need to make a change to start seeing progress. I've been stagnating for far too long and I know it's because I haven't really made any changes recently.

I have no intentions of giving up running, or even making another activity my cardio go-to.  I do, however, know that I have to make changes to the way I approach running. It's no longer good enough to just jog 2-3 miles and call it good.  If that's my plan, then I might as well plan on staying where I'm at physically. As such, I have decided to really work at increasing my speed and my endurance. I tend to fall to a 5 mph pace when I do my longer runs.  I'm working hard but I can still maintain it for a 5k.  However, it's not really a challenge.  There are certainly moments when it's not easy but I never feel like I really have to dig deep to keep going.  My latest run consisted of intervals, walking alternating with running.  My running intervals were anywhere from 5mph to 7 mph.  Let me tell you, I had to dig deep to keep running 7 mph for 1:40 minutes.  I know it might not seem like much but that's a pretty fast pace for a girl like me. I'm not exactly built for 8.5 minute miles. It's funny how slow and easy a 12 minute mile feels after that :-)

I've also signed up for a spinning class this fall.  Every quarter the Ann Arbor RecEd catalog comes out.  I always look at the classes and think if only I weren't such a chicken I'd sign up for something.  Well, this fall I decided to not be a chicken and signed up for a spinning class. It's 8 weeks and meets on Friday nights from 5:45-6:30.  It ends the week before I head home for my November trip so I shouldn't have to miss any classes.  I realize that there is a really good chance that I'll get to this class and get my ass handed to me on a platter. I might end up just pedaling while everybody else is doing the real spinning stuff but I'm going to get as much out of it as I can. I'm hoping that adding some variety will not only jump start my body to get headed in the right direction, I also hope that it will give me a renewed motivation to keep making the changes I need and want to make.

Recipe: tomato pie

It's that time of year again.  Every person lucky enough to have a garden seems to have veggies coming out of their ears and they're trying desperately to foist them off onto the gardenless so all of that delicious produce doesn't go to waste. Unfortunately, I'm one of the sad gardenless; however, I am rolling in fresh, free produce courtesy of my overly-productive co-workers. I've gotten my hands on garden fresh eggplant, zucchini, cucumbers and tomatoes and have enjoyed coming up with new and exciting ways to prepare them.  I recently stumbled across a tomato pie recipe on Pinterest (have I mentioned how much I LOVE pinterest.com??) and simply knew I had to try it. 

Now I realize that tomato pie might sound just a wee bit strange.  However, this is a savory pie meant to be a meal, not a sweet pie for dessert. I won't lie, there is a bit of sweetness from the cooked tomatoes and onions but it's a very nice compliment to the tart and salty yogurt-cheese topping. I won't lie, I had my doubts about how this would turn out; but the first tomatoy-cheesey bite was sheer bliss!  And bonus, it was ridiculously easy to make.

You will need:

• 1 whole Deep Dish Pie Crust, Store Bought Or Your Favorite Recipe
• 4  Tomatoes
• 1 cup Monterey Jack Cheese, Grated
• 1 cup Cheddar Cheese, Grated
• 1 cup Greek-style Yogurt
• ¼ cups Fresh Basil Leaves
• ½ cups Chopped Vidalia Onion
• ½ teaspoons Salt Plus Extra For Sprinkling On The Tomatoes To Remove Moisture
• ¼ teaspoons Black Pepper

Directions:

Preheat your oven to 350 F. Put your pie crust into your deep dish pie plate. Using a fork poke holes in the bottom of your pie crust. (This is called docking.) Place into the preheated oven and allow to bake for 10-15 minutes or until lightly browned. Remove from oven and allow to cool.

While your pie shell is cooking slice tomatoes thinly and layer them in a colander in your sink. Sprinkle with salt and allow them to drain while your shell is cooking. You can also dab the tomatoes with a paper towel to get some of the excess water off of them. This is an important step because if you do not get most of the liquid out, the bottom of your pie will be soggy.

By now your pie crust should be removed from the oven. Allow it to cool for a little while while you make the topping.

Combine the two cheeses and yogurt in a medium bowl.

Layer the tomatoes, then the basil and then the onion into the pie shell. Sprinkle with salt and pepper. Spread your cheese and yogurt mixture on top of the tomatoes. Put it into the oven and allow it to cook for 30 minutes or until the top is lightly browned. Garnish with more basil if desired.

When making this dish, I used two red tomatoes and two yellow heirloom tomatoes, you can use whatever you like or can get your hands on. I also used caramelized onions because I couldn't find sweet onions and figured it couldn't hurt to add a bit more flavor.  While they were a delicious addition, I think just dicing a Vidalia onion would still be quite tasty and less time consuming. I definitely cheated and used a Pillsbury pie crust. I mean, why reinvent the wheel?
 
All in all this was a very satisfying meal.  I had it with a tossed salad and it was light and refreshing. There was a bit of extra moisture from the tomatoes that I drained off of the pie once it was cut but I think really pressing the tomato slices before baking it would eliminate the need.  This is definitely going into the will make again file.

Recipe: chipotle butternut squash soup

I know it's only August and therefore too early for soup season but while I was cleaning this weekend I found a Taste of Home recipe book for soups under microwave and started thumbing through. There were many recipes that caught my eye but only one had a 'must make now' appeal to me.  I love squash and I love chipotle peppers and the two together are a magical combination. The soup didn't end up as sweet and spicy as I thought it would but for a first attempt it wasn't bad. I think the next time I make it I'll have to add another pepper or two.  However, for those who don't like soups quite as spicy as I do, this recipe is probably just about perfect!

What you need:

• 2 cups diced peeled butternut squash
• 1 small carrot, finely chopped
• 1 green onion, sliced
• 1/2 teaspoon ground cumin
• 1 tablespoon olive oil
• 2 garlic cloves, minced
• 2 cups vegetable broth, divided
• 1 can (14-1/2 ounces) diced tomatoes, undrained
• 1 package (3 ounces) cream cheese, cubed
• 1/4 cup minced fresh basil
• 1 chipotle pepper in adobo sauce, chopped
• 1 can (15 ounces) black beans, rinsed and drained
• 1 can (11 ounces) Mexicorn, drained
• 2 cups fresh baby spinach

Directions:

In a large saucepan, saute the squash, carrot, onion and cumin in oil for 10 minutes. Add garlic; cook 1 minute longer. Add 1-1/2 cups broth; bring to a boil. Reduce heat. Cover and simmer for 10-12 minutes or until vegetables are tender; cool slightly.

Transfer mixture to a blender; add the tomatoes, cream cheese, basil, chipotle pepper and remaining broth. Cover and process for 1-2 minutes or until smooth.

Return to the saucepan; stir in the beans, corn and spinach. Cook and stir until spinach is wilted and soup is heated through.

I made very few changes to this recipe. I used plain frozen corn because I couldn't find this Mexicorn that the author spoke of. I also didn't add the spinach, not because I don't like spinach but because I completely forgot to buy it. I more than doubled the cumin and threw in some chipotle pepper powder to add a bit more spice to the dish. I think this would be good with a bit of sour cream or plain Greek yogurt served on top (if that's your thing).

I am NOT a statistic

This is the first time I've blogged in over a month and unfortunately I'm not doing this in the right frame of mind. I don't use the phrase hot mess lightly.  When I say hot mess, I mean hot mess and that's how I feel. I have so much drama in my life right now that I can hardly stand it at times.  And to be fair, I don't deal with this much constant stress well. LeAnn, have they changed the rules yet?  Am I allowed to start a sentence with the word and??  It wouldn't be so bad if the stress and drama were limited to one area of my life but they seem to be taking over everything.

In the spirit of full disclosure, I have been very bad for the last month. I haven't been eating or working out the way  I should be, the way I need to be. Especially considering the fact that I was in such a good place before I left for home last month. I was so dedicated to my exercise and eating so well that the weight was just falling off.  Now, I'm scared to step on the scale. In all honesty, I stepped on the scale this morning for the first time since July 15th and it made me so sad. Once I got over being sad, I was MAD AS HELL. I am becoming the one thing I promised myself I wouldn't become when I really started to lose weight. I am becoming a statistic.  I am on the verge of becoming one of those people who lose a significant amount of weight and then gain it back.  I've read the articles. Depending on the research there is evidence that anywhere from 70-90% of all people who lose weight gain it back, and then some. Screw that.  That is not that path that I'm on. I refuse to give up. I've come so far and I am not going back.

So, this weekend is officially my reboot. I cleaned my apartment so I can start in a nice, tidy environment. I'm working on menus for this week so that I have no excuse to eat out and I'm going to make sure that I'm getting my runs in where they're supposed to be.  I mean, come on. I have a 5K that I'm running with Jessica in November, I better get my butt in gear or she'll be kicking it on thanksgiving. I'm actually glad that we decided to do the Gobble Wobble (how cool of a name is that?!?!) because it gives me something concrete to work towards.

I'm enlisting Julie's help as well as she's my only local fitness friend.  She's been experiencing some of the same issues as me and we've decided to keep each other on the straight and narrow. I know I can do this because, well I've done this before. I just need to stop letting stress and drama that I can't control affect the things in life that I can. That's what this 'lifestyle' change is all about right? Being able to see when you're getting nutty and spiraling out of control and then being able to pull everything back together.

On that note, I need to get my grocery list finished and head out to the store.  I promise it won't take this long for me to blog again and I also promise that I will catch up on all of the blog posts that I haven't been reading in my absence!

Couch to 5K Redux

Bah...I should be showering or cleaning or menu planning/grocery shopping for the week.  Instead, I'm sitting at my computer doing a whole bunch of nothing. Seems how I can't quite convince my legs that they want to get up yet, I figured I'd stop by the old blog which I have been woefully neglecting.

I've been feeling pretty good about things lately.  Before I left for vacation I was struggling. I was eating out far too often and not eating as well as I should have been when I was eating in. I was getting maybe three workouts in each week and I wasn't really pushing myself like I need to if I want to keep losing weight. I put 6 pounds on when I hurt my back and I just couldn't shake them (mostly because I was being a slacker).

I decided that when I got back from vacation and had seen how great Jessica was looking I needed to get back to work. I can't let her get all skinny without me! Vacation was was just what I needed and when I got home and I had a renewed vigor for this weight loss thing! My first decision was to start Couch to 5K again. I know that I want to increase my running speed and just doing short intervals wasn't getting me where I wanted to go. I figured C25K worked for me last summer, it couldn't hurt to give it a try again.  Last year, my run pace was 4.5 mph, this time through I'm running at 6 mph which is where I would really like to live for a standard pace.  It will be really nice to crank out a 3 mile run in 30 minutes.  It's perfect for early morning workouts! I skipped the first week seems how I was already doing 1 minute intervals.  So far, so good.  I just completed week 4 yesterday.  I know myself well enough to know that I need structure and I really love checking off my workouts.  It gives me a sense of accomplishment.  Next week is a bit scary because I have a pretty good idea of how unpleasant that 20 minute run at 6 mph on Friday is going to be. Oh well, I know I can do it so I'm just not going to think about it until then.

Saturday morning happy dance...I just did my first continuous 5K since March.  After coming back from a 6-week physical therapist induced hiatus I had lost a lot of my endurance. I have done multiple 5K distances over the course of a workout but it usually resulted in either three individual miles with walks between or 2 miles-walk-finish the 5K.  Around the 2 mile mark this morning I was hoping to get closer to 3.5-4 miles but I was exhausted by the time I got the 5K finished.  I'm not going to be too hard on myself, I feel a 5K is a pretty decent workout regardless.

OK, I have so much more to share (like a few reviews and a recipe) but I am so distracted right now I should go do something that doesn't involve my brain...like showering or cleaning.  Anyway, happy weekend!!

Back to the real world...

BAH!  Sadly my vacation is OVER and I don't like it...not one bit!  I had the most amazing time and, quite honestly, I think I did a good job at staying on top of being 'healthyish.' With the exception of consuming too much beer (and I mean WAY too much beer) the last night I think I did fantastic for vacation.  Besides, any questionable calorie consumption was counteracted with things like...

Football

'Mountain Climbing' at Sleeping Bear Dunes

Kayaking

Deep Sea Fishing on Lake Michigan

Wading on the beach

and most importantly, planning a life of piracy!

I can't believe how fast my time with my friends went. I miss them already and I can't wait to start planning our next excursion which will hopefully be to Wyoming!  I finally get to go out West!

p.s. just one more for the road

I told you...too much beer!

Feeling just a bit reminiscent

Lately I feel like I've been in a bit of a blah place when it comes to my weight-loss life.  I feel like I haven't been making any progress (which I am entirely to blame) and I just feel really overwhelmed with the thought of getting from where I am to where I eventually want to be. To get a little bit of perspective, I decided to read through some of my old blog posts.

As I was reading through some of my older posts, I kept going back to my original blog from September of 2008. I would love to say that the Nicole who wrote that post was on her way to losing weight, but honestly, at that point I wasn't.  I think the reason that I kept coming back to this post is because when I wrote it, I really didn't have high expectations for a positive outcome.  Which, it turns out, wasn't so far off the mark.  Not only would it take me over two years to start making any progress on my health and well being, I would also gain an additional 30 pounds. I think I sometimes forget how far I've come. I know that might seem silly but when you lose 100 pounds and still have so far to go it's easy to lose sight of how far you've come. I find that I focus on how much distance is between me and the finish line and completely ignore the distance I've come from the start. I don't want to sound like I'm whining.  Don't get me wrong. I'm ecstatic about the progress I've made, however, sometimes it seems like no matter how far I've come I won't ever make it to that blessed finish line.  Anyway, the point to my tired ramblings and multitude of racing references (it really wasn't planned that way) is that I think sometimes I need to be less critical of myself and really remember what I've accomplished up to this point.  So, this summer I'm going to try to pull out some 'oldie but goodie' blogs to keep things in perspective; and, hopefully get a bit of motivation from my former self.

So, without further ado, here is a glimpse of a much younger, much less healthy Nicole. Enjoy!

321. I’ve heard that half of the battle of overcoming any problem is just to admit that the problem exists. From where I’m sitting, 321 is a major problem. When I first saw 321 I could hardly believe the number that was flashing in front of my eyes. How in the world could I have let things get so out of control that my scale could possibly be reading 321? No, not just 321 but 321.7 (if I’m going to be honest I might as well be honest).

For as long as I can remember I have been the heavy girl. I was overweight when I was in elementary school (my earliest memories of trying to lose weight are from 3rd grade when my sister and I had aspirations of turning our front porch into a makeshift gym) and the weight issue followed me through adolescence and even now into early adulthood it hasn’t subsided. Like most men and women who have struggled with weight issues their entire lives I have made several attempts to lose the excess weight. And, like most people in the same boat as me, I have failed time and time again.

I would love to be able to say that this time is guaranteed to be different. I would love to say that I will not fail, that failure simply is not an option. Unfortunately, it would delusional to make that sort of a claim. Failure is a possibility. It’s not pretty, but there it is. I, however, will be doing everything within my power to make sure that failure is not my outcome this time around. So here it is, I know what I need to do to make myself healthy (my background in exercise science basically mean that I can’t claim ignorance as a defense). I also know what the benefits are to changing my life yet I simply don't do what needs to be done. Why??? It’s simple. Lack of honesty.

For the past 26 years I have been lying to myself. Every time I try to lose weight it's the same damn thing. I tell myself that my current lifestyle isn't so bad. I tell myself that for a heavy person I eat pretty well and I get more physical activity than the average overweight person. I tell myself and others (generally those who are trying to lose weight with me) that I don't have gigantic lifestyle changes to make. Well, I've finally decided that that's BULLSHIT!!! After years of deluding myself I have finally found the nerve to admit that my lifestyle is my problem. Sure, I eat well when I cook, but lets face it, I don't cook all that often. I am ashamed to admit it but I eat out more during a week than I cook in, and it's not like I'm eating healthy take-out foods, no I'm eating crap. McDonald's, pizza, takeout Chinese and Chipotle. What’s worse is that I then go home to my apartment and spend the night watching TV or reading a book, not exactly high energy activities. Basically I have become the stereotypical heavy woman...go me!

Basically it’s this honesty that led me to project.180.gone. A friend and I (who would like to lose a combined weight of 180 pounds) have had the same struggles and have been trying to find a way to finally make the lifestyle changes that will result in healthier lives for the both of us. Although we don’t have any magic answers on how to be 100% successful on this journey we do know that we cannot succeed alone and have therefore started this blog as a way to share our thoughts, successes, set backs and goals with each other and anybody else who chooses to read this blog. If we can help others on our journey it will make the final destination that much more rewarding.

Recipe: crock pot pork carnitas

With summer quickly approaching and summer temperatures already here, I have been trying to utilize my crock pot more.  I generally see the crock pot as a winter cooking tool but there are some many wonderful, season appropriate dishes that can be make in the crock pot.  I've recently tried a few new crock pot recipes and I have one cooking away on the counter as I type.  The first I'm going to share with you is for these super tasty pork carnitas.

Now, I'm not going to lie.  There is definitely a bit of prep work that goes into this recipe.  However, once the prep is done you just stuff everything in the crock pot and it's AMAZING!  If you like pork and Mexican food this is a must try recipe!

 You will need:

• 2.5 lb pork shoulder blade roast, lean
• 6 cloves garlic, cut into sliver
• cumin
• dry adobo seasoning (if you can't find this just omit)
• garlic powder
• 3/4 cup 99% fat free chicken broth
• 2-3 chipotle peppers in adobo sauce. (These add spice so start with less and add more if you need)
• 2 bay leaves.

Season pork with salt and pepper. In a medium sauté pan on medium-high heat, brown pork on all sides for about 10 minutes. Remove from heat and allow to cool.

Using a sharp knife, insert blade into pork, cutting small holes and insert garlic slivers. Season pork generously with cumin, adobo and garlic powder all over.

Pour chicken broth in the crock pot, add bay leaves and chipotle peppers. Place pork in crock pot and cover. Cook low for 8 hours. After 8 hours, shred pork using two forks and combine well with the juices that accumulated at the bottom. Remove bay leaves and adjust salt and cumin (you will probably need to add more). Let it cook another 15-30 minutes.  



I ate this three ways.  The first night I just put the carnitas on tortilla shells with a bit of sour cream and taco sauce.  Divine, but high in calories if you eat your fill. The second night I ate this I roasted a spaghetti squash and tossed the carnitas with squash, black beans, cheddar cheese and bit of sour cream.  It was wonderful eaten with a fork and in a tortilla.  I also took it as a carnitas salad for lunch a few days.  I didn't do anything too fancy, just some shredded lettuce, black beans, carnitas, onions and tomatoes.  Such a good lunch!

Seriously, I couldn't believe how wonderful this recipe turned out.  It's worth the time and effort, trust me!

I'm back!

Wow, I cannot believe how long it has been since I've posted to this thing! I have to apologize that it's taken me this long to get back here. 


I have had a lot going on in the last 6 weeks.  Obviously there was that whole back injury thing that didn't make me very happy.  However, I am pleased to report that I have successfully graduated physical therapy and am feeling pretty good.  There is some minor, residual back achiness (if it's not a word it should be) that I've never had before but it's not something that I can't live with. In the spirit of full disclosure, I haven't been very faithful to my home rehab, it's a lot harder to motivate yourself when you don't feel pain.  I need to make sure that I work on those exercises so that I don't get into the same situation I was in. I'll tell you, I have a whole knew appreciation for chronic back pain sufferers.  If the pain that I was experiencing is anything like what they live with on a daily basis I don't know how they do much of anything but lie on the couch and want to die.

At the end of April I made an amazing trip home.  Fortunately my back played nice the whole time (my PT fixed me the day before I left!!) and it was so nice to be home, even though it was much too short of a trip.  I got to spend lots of time with the family.  I took Hailee to gymnastics and realized that she got the Warnke-lack-of-grace genes (poor girl), but I think gymnastics will help her. Most importantly she had an amazing time being there.  Yay for fun physical activity!! I also got to meet my newest nephew Peyton, finally.  He is so incredibly adorable (and no, I'm not an unbiased observer) and he's a really well behaved baby for the most part. I even got to spend a morning with him alone.  His baptism was wonderful and he LOVES the moose I got him for his present!  Karla and Justin assure me it's his favorite toy.

Work has been it's usual crazy self.  Right now I'm taking an 8-week course that meets all-day, every Thursday.  The class is a foundations class for managers.  It's been really great, I've learned a lot about the policies and procedures of the University but I've also learned a lot about myself.  We've had classes that look at communication and management style and that information is really helping me to see some of my flaws and work to correct them.  I know, it's hard to believe I have flaws but they're there ;-) We're also gearing up for a crazy summer.  It's our busiest season and we have our EPIC transition in August so we have a summer loaded with classes and inevitable change.  Woot...

I am really looking forward to this summer.  I have some great goals set for myself and I'm looking forward to a camping trip that I'm taking with some friends in the Traverse City area at the end of June.  I've never been 'up North' in Michigan so I'm really excited about this.  We're going to be tent camping and I know that we're going to spend a day at the dunes in the area, we're chartering a fishing boat for a day and I think we'll spend a day either rafting, kayaking or tubing down the Platte River and end up beaching it on the crystal clear blue water of Lake Michigan!  I cannot wait!

My weight loss life has been a bit meh as of late. When I hurt my back I was in excruciating pain just standing so I didn't have a strong desire to much of anything and exercising was simply out of the question. I found myself eating a lot of take-out and highly processed foods.  Pair that with no real physical activity and I just didn't feel good.  I was tired and irritable (although that could have been from the pain as well) and I just didn't have interest in making healthy choices.  Man, I was an idiot. While on my hiatus I gained a bit of weight back.  Not a lot but it was real weight gain, not just I ate too much sodium and crap weight gain.  This is the first time that I've gained real weight back since September of 2010 and  I am not happy with myself about it. 

I'm taking the steps to get back on the right track. First and foremost I was given the go-ahead to slowly get back into running. I have been doing interval workouts the last two weeks and I have to say that it's a bit discouraging to realize how quickly you lose fitness when you stop exercising.  Before I hurt my back I was in a great place.  I had just completed my fastest 5K time.  I could do a 5K, alternating between 5 and 5.5 mph and have an average heart rate in the low 170's.  I did a 60-minute interval workout yesterday where my 5 mph intervals lasted 2:15 minutes.  By the end of the runs, my heart rate was in the low 180's. Boo... However, I'm not giving up.  I'm going to keep working at it and get back to where I was.  I just have to give myself permission to take the time I need.

My eating has also been a bit abysmal as of late.  I've gotten into the habit of eating out way too much and I need to break that habit, again.  It's funny how I always go back to the same bad habits.  I wonder if it's just me or if it's everybody. When I got back from Iowa I told myself that my eating out had to stop.  I told myself that I wasn't going to eat out in May.  It simply was not an option. I told the girls at work that if I toyed with the idea of running down to Subway to remind me of my goal.  I told my sister that if I called her and said that I wanted to order Jimmy John's for dinner that she needs to tell me know. I'm happy to report that I've done really well.  I did eat out last Saturday for lunch.  I had a good friend in town with her husband and kids and they wanted to meet up.  We ended up have lunch out but I don't feel to guilty about it.  The eating out ban is not to keep me from eating out ever, it's to help me break the idea of grabbing dinner out whenever the mood strikes.  It's all about making the right, healthful choices the majority of the time. Not to mention, it's the time of year that I'm really inspired to cook so I should focus on that!

Anyway, I should really stop typing.  This post is already really long.  I have a few recipes that I'd like to share with you and and I'm sure there are other things, however, this beautiful weather is calling to me and I want to get out and enjoy it.  I hope that your May is going well!  I have lots of reading to do on your blogs, I can't wait to catch up!

I'm still here...

Hi ladies.  I just wanted to let you know that I'm here, but not really. I hurt my back over a week ago and just as it was feeling better I screwed it up royally.  Now back pain alone couldn't stop me from blogging but sitting at my desk is the WORST place/position and I can't handle more than a few minutes in this chair.  I promise that I'll be back once I'm feeling better.  Until then have an amazing Easter weekend and wonderful spring!

Recipe: lime bars

Don't worry, they're not as scary as they sound.  One of my colleagues has a birthday this weekend and we celebrated Friday at work.  We ordered lunch in and I decided I was going to make something sweet.  I needed a good excuse to try my new lime bar recipe, however, because I gave up sweets for Lent I was hesitant to try a new recipe.  If they didn't turn out I didn't want to bring them to work.  I don't know how it happened but I have cultivated a reputation as a good baker and I've been trying very hard to not mess that up.  I debated for a while and finally decided to give them a whirl.  I figured, worst case scenario they turn out bad and I just explain that it was a new recipe that I'd never tried before.

Well, after whipping these bars up, I decided that there was no way that they could be bad.  I brought them into work and they got rave reviews.  And, in the spirit of full disclosure I ate a tiny one and it was amazing.  There I admit it, I cheated on Lent. Although, I'm not Catholic so it's not that bad, right?!?!?  I've decided that these bars are the perfect spring dessert.  They're not too sweet but they're not pucker your lips tart.  They are an amazing green color and are just perfectly refreshing! I told Karla that I was going to make them for Peyton's baptism in April...I can't wait!

For the crust you will need:

1 c. flour
1/4 c. powdered sugar
1 stick butter (unsalted), cold*
1/4 tsp. sea salt*

*I used salted butter so I left the salt out and I think it was perfect

For the filling you will need:
1 1/4 c. white sugar
1/4 c. flour
4 large eggs
2/3 c. lime juice (about 6 limes if using fresh)
green food coloring (enough to reach desired green color)
2 tsp. zest (optional if you want it more tart)

powdered sugar for dusting

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

To make the crust, combine the powdered sugar, flour and sea salt in a large bowl. Cut in the cold butter and work with your fingers until the mixture resembles cornmeal. Press into a greased nine inch pan and bake for 20-25 minutes, or until golden.

To make the filling, whisk together the granulated sugar and flour in a bowl. Add the eggs, one at a time, whisking well after each addition. Add the zest, lime juice and enough green food coloring to produce desired green color and mix until everything is smooth and combined.

Pour filling over hot crust and return to oven to bake for another twenty minutes. When done, the filling will no longer jiggle. Let cool completely in the pan before slicing and dusting with powdered sugar.

I got 25 bars out of my 9x9 pan and they came to about 117 calories each. Not too bad!  I also should mention that I didn't add the zest because I didn't use fresh limes.  I cheated and bought the bottled lime juice to save my hands the burning from having to squeeze citrus fruit. If you want a really tart dessert, and some people do, you could definitely add it.

These bars were amazing and so very easy to make.  There really isn't any way that you could mess them up so if you need a quick, easy and delicious dessert I say give them a try!

New specs and itty bitty specs...

So I finally broke down and went to the eye doctor.  I've worn glasses in the past but they never help me see better (mostly because I've never had vision issues) and they just get in my way.  However, lately I've been noticing that when I read I have a hard time getting the words to focus. I've put it off and put it off, I was worried that they would tell me that my perfect left eye was going bad and I didn't want to hear it.  As it turns out, my left eye is still perfect and my right eye still blows.  Dr. Knight prescribed reading glasses for me and, yay, they were ready in an hour. I had a hard time deciding between the pair I got and a really cool pair of eco metal frames (they're made from 100% recycled material) but in the end these won out.

I also finally talked myself into, well more like talked myself out of talking myself out of, buying the one thing that I told myself I would buy when I lost 100 pounds.  When I started out on this journey, months and months ago I told myself and anybody else who would listen that when I lost 100 pounds I was going to buy myself a pair of diamond earrings. As 100 approached I started to think of all of the more practical things I could spend that kind of money on.  I hemmed and hawed trying to decide if it was worth it.  I really, really wanted them but I have a hard time spending that kind of money on necessities let alone extravagant purchases (under which heading diamond anythings fall).  However, I had an hour to kill from the time my eye exam was done until I could pick my new glasses up.  I didn't really feel like clothes shopping and there was a conveniently located jewelry store right next to Pearle.  As if I needed any other signs, they were having a sale!! And boy, did I get a good deal. They were on sale for $299 and when I declined the lifetime warranty they offered to give me the 'managers' discount and the lifetime warranty for $310.  I figured for 10 extra bucks it was worth it.  I already love them!  It's funny how something as small as switching out cubic zirconia for real diamonds can make a girl feel like a real grown up!  Anyway, here is a picture.  They're not huge but they're perfect for me!!

Anyway that's all I've got.  I'm probably going to spend the remainder of my weekend doing laundry and cleaning...woot!

I hope you all had a fabulous weekend and wonderful St. Patrick's Day!

Shamrocks and Shenanigan Success

My first race has come and gone and it was a success! My only goal going into the event was that I didn't want to walk. I wasn't sure if I'd be able to accomplish  that goal, especially as we approached the top of a half mile incline but Julie was there reassuring me the whole time. Some of my speeds were quite slow but I managed to jog the whole 3.11 miles!!  I have to say that I'm really proud of myself.  There were a few points that I really wanted to just walk, if only for a short time, but I managed to push through the feelings of death and keep my feet going.  In all honesty, without Julie there I probably would have walked at one point.  It was really nice having someone around to keep me accountable. In the end I managed to finish in 39:40.7.  It might not be fast but it's mine!!

Anyway, the first group 5K of the pediatric EKG lab was a great success. Sadly Jill was really sick and couldn't make it but we stuck her bib under Corey's and she got a time, even though she wasn't there.  I think the next run we're going to do is the Dexter-Ann Arbor run in early June. Corey is planning to run the half marathon but the rest of us will do the 5K. I really excited to start training so I can improve my time!

Apparently I'm all about pictures lately so here is the group shot after the race. One of our fellows found us before the race and then he waited at the finish line to cheer us on as we finished.  He's one of our favorites!!

p.s. if you buy new running tights make sure you try them out before the race.  I spent the first 10 minutes of the race holding my pants on so I didn't flash the poor kid behind me...

A picture is worth 1000 words...

And I have three!  I was working in my closet today (it's a disaster!!) and I stumbled across the two pair of before pants that I am keeping for the end of my journey so I can remember just how far I've come.  I took them to the bathroom and tried them on and then held them up...wow.  I just had to take some pictures!!

p.s. please ignore my cluttered laundry room :-)

Just wanted to say...

Back in 2008, when Jenny and I started our blog together, I had set a  goal of losing 100 pounds.  This morning I stepped on the scale and I have officially lost 100.5 pounds!!  I can't even tell you how happy I am right now.  I honestly never thought I would make it to this point.  I'm pretty sure that I weigh less now than I did when I graduated from high school.  I'd have to dig out old medical records or something to confirm but I'm pretty sure I was somewhere around 270 at the time. It feels so good to hit this milestone but I also think it's an indicator of just how overweight and unhealthy I was. 

Even after losing 100 pounds I am still considered morbidly obese (eesh...I can't wait to get out of that category) and I know that I still have limitations because of my weight.  However, I refuse to let those things stop me. I have already set my next goal, I want to lose another 50 pounds and get, forever and ever, out of the 200's!  Once I'm there I'll set one final goal, however, I'll burn that bridge when I get there...one step at a time.

Anywho, I took some terrible self-portraits today.  I figure 100 pounds lost warrants some new pictures.  So yeah, here are some before and  after 100 pound pictures.

Pink and shiny!!

I'm so excited.  I got my new running shoes on Friday and got a chance to try them out this weekend.  They were a bit stiff yesterday but today they felt amazing!!  I love getting new shoes!